At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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