bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
