Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
