You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
