I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
