so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
