Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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