Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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