What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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