Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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