Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize
