the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize