wrigley field is MILF paradise
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
