im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize