This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
