The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
