Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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