I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
