I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
