So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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