so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
