It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
