I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
