I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We have started to decorate penises.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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