Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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