just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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