I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
