He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
