4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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