I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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