Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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