I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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