fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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