Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
