thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
