i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize