I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
