he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
