but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
