Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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