I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
