Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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