I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
