I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She's the barista slut.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
