Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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