Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
