I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I need a burrito and a hug.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
