party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize