I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
