why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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