Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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