We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
