shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
