My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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