Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I could fuck to npr.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
