i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
