Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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