last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize