i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
