we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Can I color on your dick again?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
