And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
