i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
