You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just found puke in my bra..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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